Mid-October

Now that I have about 180 surveys done, I may have to temporarily abandon the dissertation stuff in order to try to cram in the internship apps. Once again I feel unprepared and pressured about this. I'm really not feeling ready to do this process this year. I don't even know where the heck to apply. We are still not accredited yet. Regardless of the "applicant status," I know there are many sites whose screening system will not even let our apps in the door for anyone to look at. Also, I just feel I don't yet have the experience and research pubs to offer that sites appear to want.

In order to do the apps, I have to update everything everything EVERYTHING, as well as go around begging for letters of rec yet again; trying to write some research stuff so I have even just one pathetic "submitted" pub to put on my CV; trying to get some case reports written up and anonymized, and so forth...and it's already mid-October.

Meanwhile this weekend, I have to write two midterms and grade weekly papers, and next week I have to grade those midterms. I am not able to get much done during the week except clinic and class stuff, which takes a lot more time than I'd like. Therefore my weekends are pretty much it for doing everything else. So that means I have two weekends left to do all this, and those will be full of a cartload of class stuff. I'm just feeling really discouraged and tired. Insert appropriate swear words into that sentence.