Thursday, October 13, 2005


Now that I have about 180 surveys done, I may have to temporarily abandon the dissertation stuff in order to try to cram in the internship apps. Once again I feel unprepared and pressured about this. I'm really not feeling ready to do this process this year. I don't even know where the heck to apply. We are still not accredited yet. Regardless of the "applicant status," I know there are many sites whose screening system will not even let our apps in the door for anyone to look at. Also, I just feel I don't yet have the experience and research pubs to offer that sites appear to want.

In order to do the apps, I have to update everything everything EVERYTHING, as well as go around begging for letters of rec yet again; trying to write some research stuff so I have even just one pathetic "submitted" pub to put on my CV; trying to get some case reports written up and anonymized, and so forth...and it's already mid-October.

Meanwhile this weekend, I have to write two midterms and grade weekly papers, and next week I have to grade those midterms. I am not able to get much done during the week except clinic and class stuff, which takes a lot more time than I'd like. Therefore my weekends are pretty much it for doing everything else. So that means I have two weekends left to do all this, and those will be full of a cartload of class stuff. I'm just feeling really discouraged and tired. Insert appropriate swear words into that sentence.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


Most of the data collection for my dissertation is now accomplished, that is, I have 185 completed surveys out of my required 210. So I need at least 25 more participants...not a huge number, although the last few are always the hardest to squeeze out.

Meanwhile, my hardworking undergrad assistant has completed the scoring of the GRISMS surveys that Dr. N. and I pre- and post-administered to our classes last spring. During the summer she also entered some of them into an SPSS database we created, but I believe she may be too busy to continue at this time. Nevertheless, it's a start.

This weekend I intend to create a similar, (though extended) database for the current 185 surveys. I am also retracing my email paths to make sure that I have followed up with professors who offered their students as participants. I will also create lists of students who participated to send to their respective professors.

I have received a curious invitation to this conference and am trying to figure out whether it's legitimate. Even if it's legitimate, it costs $3000 to attend (not including air fare). I wonder if I could find some way to pay for it... If I did attend, it would certainly be a powerful motivator to complete my work!

The other things that are still somewhere on my burners at this point are: the MDM study, writing the results section for the nutrition study so I can submit it, and sending results of the GRT/Nutrition study to those who participated. (I had my UG assistant working on this over the summer, but she developed a curious mental block about the write-up.)

The big things on my front burners right now are mostly day-to-day: clinic work and class prep. Both seem to take a lot of my time, and I feel a little bit at sea with some teaching issues. For the past few weeks I have been leaving the house at 7am and returning at 9pm, or in some cases working until about 10 when I get home. I have been feeling pretty overwhelmed.

The other front-burner issue is, once again, applying for internship. I have to update everything APPIC, including essays, hours, and sample reports, as well as getting new letters of ref once again. I am not looking forward to this, though I tell myself that it won't be as bad as last year. I tell myself this because I have to get all this done this month, probably during the weekends.

I also plan to work on updating my AAPI this weekend.

I was really hoping to send off at least just the ONE document for submission to Appetite before sending the application, so I could include it.

I am also disappointed that I have gotten only one more integrated-report-type assessment over the summer. I did get a couple of full-battery OCD assessments. However, the LD assessments were in short supply at the clinic until August, when tons rolled in. I did snap one up, but coupled with the moving, wedding, and OCD assessments, used up every waking second of every day. My supervisor over the summer advised me strongly to not take any more until the Fall Semester.

However, now that it's Fall Semester, I haven't had a chance to catch my breath yet...if it weren't for internship app itself, I could probably fit in an assessment in a week or two! Catch-22.